Why Talking Time Before a Relationship Can Save You From Heartbreak

I don’t usually talk about relationships because I consider myself a student in this area, still learning every day. But with the countless stories and reports circulating on social media about broken relationships, I feel compelled to share a perspective that is often overlooked: the importance of talking time before entering a relationship.

Jumping Too Fast, Falling Too Hard

Many relationships that collapse were never meant to start in the first place. Why? Because too many people rush in without doing the needful. They meet, feel sparks, and after one or two casual conversations, they rush into calling it a relationship. Before long, disappointment sets in, hearts get broken, and both parties realise they were never fully committed or compatible.

What Is Talking Time?

Here’s a simple truth: going on a date is not talking time. A date is just an introduction—it opens the door to the real process of communication. Talking time is the intentional period where both individuals engage in meaningful conversations to understand each other’s values, mindset, and basic outlook on life.

It is during this stage that you ask the important questions—about faith, family, finances, goals, and even habits. Skipping this phase is like investing in a business without doing proper market research: the chances of failure are very high.

Signs You Shouldn’t Ignore During Talking Time

The talking stage is not just about sweet words; it’s about observing patterns. For example:

• If someone consistently ignores your messages during the talking time, don’t expect better treatment in the relationship.

• If their responses are careless, dismissive, or disrespectful, that’s a reflection of who they are.

• If you can’t hold intentional conversations with someone before commitment, you will struggle to communicate once you’re in the relationship.

In other words, talking time reveals character.

Why Talking Time Matters More Than Ever

We live in a fast-paced world where people are constantly distracted, and genuine connections are often rushed. Talking time helps you slow down and filter out what you truly want in a partner. It allows you to detect red flags early and avoid unnecessary heartbreak.

More importantly, talking time isn’t just about evaluating the other person—it’s also about self-reflection. It forces you to clarify what you want and need in a relationship, rather than just reacting to emotions.

Final Thoughts: Don’t Skip the Foundation

Every strong building rests on a strong foundation. Relationships are no different. Talking time is that foundation—it helps you know if you’re building with the right person or setting yourself up for heartbreak.

So, before you rush into saying “yes” to a relationship, ask yourself: Have we really talked? Have we asked the hard questions? Do I truly understand this person’s mindset?

Because if you can’t talk before the relationship, trust me—you won’t magically start talking when you’re in it.